Sewing is for Sexists — And Other Lies of Modernism
How many of my 90s and early 2000s grads remember taking Home and Careers (now referred to as FACS – Family and Consumer Sciences) in middle school and high school? In middle school we were supposed to try to plan out our future jobs at 11 years old, learn the basics of baking, and sew some drawstring bags. Following junior high, I was blessed to go to a high school that had a kitchen and I was able to take a nutrition class. We also worked on some cooking in our health classes in junior year. And there was even an introductory culinary course path one could take if they wanted to
There were some downsides to Home and Careers. When I was 11, I knew I wanted to be a mom by that point in my life, so trying to figure out a career was something that did not interest me in the least. And I was shamed for wanting to plan my life around raising other people – but that is a topic for a later blog post. Being able to have classes later on, however, that taught me how to cook allowed me to learn how to feed my body properly and prepare a balanced meal. My mom was not much of a home cook, and I think taking this class really taught me how to cook and bake, something I enjoy doing and am more confident to try things that seem more difficult.
Taking Back Skills from Culture
Notice, I asked this of people that are around my age (early 30s) or older. My sister, who is in her early 20s, took Family and Consumer Science courses that taught her a little bit of sewing and cooking. But by the time she got to high school, the kitchens had been fully taken over by the special education program to teach their students basic life skills. There were no longer classes for students in mainstream education to teach them these basic life skills. Instead, the schools had pushed even more advanced course programs and college programs.
We have lost the arts of cooking, sewing, and being able to do average handiwork. Having friends that were able to change the oil in their car was a rare gift (and they were all usually homeschooled…). There seems to be a pride these days in not being able to cook something more than pulling out a breaded product from the freezer and popping it into an air fryer or a toaster oven. Even large ovens seem to be out of vogue. The idea of making your own sauce or learning how to bake bread is becoming something that is seen as a “homesteader” skill or worthy of going on a baking competition (shoutout to The Great British Bake Off) instead of a relatively easy skill that our fore parents could do without gas or electric ovens.
I didn’t think much of it until my sister suggested that I watch the documentary Eve in Exile with Rebekah Merkle. It is a documentary I highly encourage all Christian women eager to understand what the bible actually teaches about womanhood and a woman’s role within the body of the church by using the original language of the Scriptures. Along with this, Merkle also explores how the history of feminism has made the waters even more murky. Current culture has diminished women’s unique role in the life of the church body and the family, instead mocking, smearing, or martyring these tasks as women have clamored to be “equal” with men. One of the beautiful things we have lost is the ability to create and to make, to have practical skills that bring beautiful to our homes, blessings to our families and friends, and could even be turned into a lucrative hobby if we felt called that way.
I am hoping that we can lead the generation of exiles of women who desire biblical womanhood, a desire that will not be accepted in a culture that continually gives itself over to the enemy, in learning how to take back some of the glory that God ascribed to us.
This does not mean that the practical skills we learn are subjected to women only– but can we accept that when we, as women, put our hands to these tasks, they come out in a more tenderly beautiful way than when a man does it? There is no need to hide that when we approach a task, the product that comes out has a different kind of grace because we have a different perspective of approaching it that a man does not. And I do not think there are “exceptions” to these rules – you may have a more “masculine” personality, but when you are approach a task, you are still a woman, the glory of the glory (according to Merkle’s breakdown of the original language), and the touch of your woman hand is in the product. We should take pride in the way we as women can take what is given us and multiply it.
Let us bring back these practical skills to our daily lives. This may mean that we need to spend less time on Netflix or scrolling through our social media feeds, but that could be an even bigger blessing to us than being able to accomplish.
Skills and the Age of Social Media
One of the skills I wish more women took pride in is preparing food. Not every person needs to become a gourmet cook or create cakes that we see on Chopped. But you can learn to make certain dishes. This is where the beauty of the internet does come in handy. There are many resources and places which provide basic recipes that are not only delicious, but are also good for you. Many are hard to mess up too badly if the directions are followed carefully.
One of the blessings that has come about from being diagnosed with an autoimmune condition, is the need to learn to cook food that I can eat but cannot get pre-made because of all the stabilizers or added ingredients used in prepackaged food. I have learned to cook for myself using an extremely limited diet, including how to spice up dishes (I have a nightshade allergy due to my Hashimotos which makes navigating food another nightmare in my life) by accessing resources like Unbound Wellness. I was intimidated at first to use ingredients we don’t normally see in most American recipes, but after trying them a time or two, my confidence grew. I make these recipes out of necessity (so I don’t get tired of meat and sweet potatoes all time), but the need to stretch myself has shown me how I can accomplish a task that can seem intimidating at first. Learning how to make dishes I can eat has also allowed me to gain confidence to make dishes from scratch for my family and friends. I have learned to make great vodka sauce from recipes put out by resources such as Half Baked Harvest. While I would not serve this to my husband or friends every day, the option of making it at home and using products that I can get as fresh as possible (except for tomatoes– I will never boil tomatoes ever again) without adding stabilizers or excess sugar is a blessing to both the ones I serve and to me for being able to provide it.
I know that boxes such as Hello Fresh can make life easier, but if we could carve out some time to really do our own research and shopping (which may mean cutting back television time during the week or on a weekend), can teach us the skills how to thoughtfully prepare for even the simplest mean we can serve, even something as basic as learning how to make delicious seared chicken (Whole30 has a great, easy to follow guide that takes about 20 -25 minutes!). You don’t need to get the precooked chicken at Trader Joe’s– you can make it yourself at home with very little effort once the skill is mastered. Again, there is no need to learn how to make extravagant recipes. But even homemade pizza dough, basic bread, or a pasta dish are not hard tasks to complete. They just take the discipline to carefully follow directions and the commitment to carve out time.
Another skill that I have seen people on Instagram begin to embrace is growing their own garden at home. There are so many resources on the internet that can help even the most novice of gardeners create a small herb garden on their back patio. I say this as a self confessed black thumb – I am slowly learning how to care for plants and how to investigate how best to care for them. I have many friends that have begun growing their own food in the spaces provided – whether in raised beds or containers or even patio beds. The ability to grow food not only allows you to know what you are fueling your body with, but it also allows you to have a food source that is not dependent on other people. This is especially beneficial this year as inflation and scarcity is causing food prices to rocket. I know I have friends who are currently cutting their food bills in half by being able to harvest their own vegetables and fruit from their backyard. Some of my friends have even been blessed with land and ability to have their own chickens and are able to provide fresh eggs. I know that these friends have had to put in the time, effort, and education into successfully providing these food sources – but how much effort do we put into other parts of life that we could share or transfer to this one?
Even picking up a simple skill like sewing can be a blessing or source of income for you in the future. It can help you repair clothing you would otherwise have to get rid of, or can even save you money in creating an outfit for a fraction of the price you can get in stores. I have been fascinated with following BringingBackSewing on Instagram– she provides support on how to begin your sewing journey as well as shows the beautiful outfits she is able to create in a few days’ time. Looking into her story, the hobby began as a way for her to pass time as a newlywed married to a man going through a time consuming career path. She does not sell her products, but she does make money as a pattern tester and creator. I am sure she was not expecting to have either of these income sources to rise up from a hobby she was learning to productively pass the time. One woman from a childhood church has learned how to make beautiful quilts that she either gives to close family or friends to celebrate their newborns or has even sold the products to make a little extra income. The quilts she has learned to make grow more and more beautiful and intricate every year as she spends more time working on them. A practical skill she took on in order to learn to make something beautiful and one that turned out to not be impossible. What a way to bless others! I have just as many friends who have become great knitters and crocheters. They have been able to bless new mothers with beautiful blankets or create hats or gloves to sell in the colder region I hail from.
Not all of us will succeed in every area of these skills. We may learn to patch a piece of clothing, but we may never create a fashion piece. We may learn to create a simple nutritious dinner, but it may not be a five star restaurant meal. We may have a garden that consists of vegetables and herbs that are near impossible to kill because we are not able to grow vegetables that need a little more time and tender care. All that matters is that we have learned how to start, how to care for ourselves in the smallest of ways. And you may never know what talents or abilities you can unlock or build upon because you showed up and you tried. You failed, but you tried again. Because, like most skills, talent can only get you so far. Some of the best in the fields we admire became that way because of dedication and time spent working on the skill, not because they were good at it in the first couple go arounds.
Practice Not Perfection
Learning practical life skills is not something we can always perfect on the first try. I get frustrated by this because I often want to be able to get it right on the first go. Practical skills demand that we show up time and again. That when the dish was too heavily salted, we learn from that experience and we do something different the next time we approach it. To learn the appropriate stitches for a garment may take trial and error, and learning the process.
May we become a generation of women that are not intimidated by the following descriptions of the Proverbs 31 woman:
She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
Proverbs 31:13
She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
Proverbs 31:15
She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
Proverbs 31:19
She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Proverbs 31:22
And not be afraid that this description is too hard for us to accomplish. Let us take the blessings from living in the age of the internet and instant connection to use the resources to help us learn how to clothe our household, feed our families and friends, and create products that make our homes and the places we touch more lovely. These abilities are often not difficult, they take time and discipline. And in a culture that has abused both of these, let us stand out among the rest.
Let us become women that do not shy away or find it demeaning to learn how to cook, clean, sew, and care for a house. These are not tasks that need to be sneered at or rejected. They are a part of being Kingdom dwellers and honoring God on earth as in Heaven.
What practical skill do you wish you had? What is keeping you from pursuing how to do it? And what resources do you need to support your ability to learn?